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lelandtoday my little exposition is going to be about my two new and favouritest obsessions: dog the bounty hunter and survivorman. no – they are not in any way related (aside from being reality television shows) but that is not going to stop me from including both in this posting. and no – i don’t care if you don’t care.

so what i am going to do here (if only i could be this clear in the writing of my dissertation) is compare/contrast the shows and generally tell you what i love about them. and in the spirit of valentine’s day, add another random (and let’s face it) not-that-attractive guy to my list of “celebrity crushes.” you guessed it – leland chapman – or dawg jr to you b*tch.

here goes.

1. i love leland. not cause he is a hawt dawg or because he seems especially smart or engaging. i love him because he says “how’s it” the cutest out of all the members of his much-too-large family. also, he looks nothing like the rest of his family (save possibly his uncle. i’m not making any accusations…i’m just sayin’)

2. i love when survivorman (let’s affectionately call him les, yes?) becomes kind of a whiny b*tch on his show. the premise – for those who don’t know –  is that basically he gets dropped somewhere remote and has to survive for 7 days – without food, water, and (sometimes) shelter. he survives by his wits and sometimes looses his shit. those episodes are my favourite. like the man hasn’t eaten in days, bathed, been warm (or dry, or cool – depending on the climate), had water in some cases, or talked to anyone and the minute he starts complaining about his situation i’m all like – “what a baby!” then i try – but don’t always succeed – in telling myself i seriously wouldn’t last an hour. and i would definitely be dead in two.

3. this season dog has gotten much more violent. dog himself routinely yells “motherf*cker” at his ‘prey’ upon catching them and then he tries to save their souls. this is a somewhat welcomed change from the highly anti climatic run-up to someone turning themselves in and then getting asked if they have jesus in their lives. just my opinion.

4. les – on survivorman, stay with me here – kills at least one wild animal a show. every time he does he gives the same spiel – “i hate the thought of killing any animal. but when survival is at stake, any life is fair game” or something to that effect. every time he kills the animal though i judge (against the cuteness of the animal of course) which one of them i would rather see survive. les buddy, you are like losing three to ten. sorry dude.

5. beth’s breasts are seriously distracting. so are her nails. but i love her insofar as she subscribes to my motto: go big or go home b*tch.

6. okay both shows are highly gendered – just give me this moment’s ranty pants. oh yeah – and classed. oh yeah – and racialized. firstly, beth and baby lisa (can you believe they call their 27-year-old daughter this? but then again, my mother does still introduce me as her baby. so horrifyingly embarrassing. *shudder*) are always sent in to homes to talk to women in order to extract information by the very nature of their womanliness. dog himself is what i like to call a neo-sexist – you know, the older guy who likes to couch sexist (and sometimes misogynist – but always essentializing) comments in ‘joking’ terms – like “women can’t drive” and “men are the boss.” also, beth uses slang with racialized people but talks ‘normally’ with white hawaiians. also, i think the very notion of putting yourself – voluntarily – into survival situations is very gendered – read: ‘masculine.’ the notion that you can survive in the wild reminds me of the rugged (and misogynist) individualism expounded by certain men’s rights groups. also, it is *such* a classed activity. it is like how we go camping to ‘rough it.’ only a culture of plenty seeks to deny ourselves for leisure. k. rant over.

7. 90% of dog is about driving around in suvs and talking shit. it is like the perfect road trip.

8. 90% of survivorman is talking about fire. or making fire. or carrying fire from one place to another. or crying over fires gone out. producers: give the guy a lighter so i can hear him bitch and moan more. cause that is what that show is missing. drama.

9. i might have had a dream where leland and les get it on. first in the bc backwoods, then in a suv filled with people.

10. naw. i’m just messing with you. i’m just hoping to have a dream like that. i’ll keep you posted.

please share your own insights and/or fantasies about the shows. and don’t say that you don’t watch them.

cause i know you’re lyin’ b*tch.


eggnog2it’s true. i should be doing ANYTHING else right now besides blogging. there is a tree to put up, an apartment to clean, publications to write, relatives to call, cats to pet. but goddamit, what about time for jacks? i just got back from a whirlwind trip around holland (and belgium) to visit family (i have an aunt who resembles zsa zsa  in more ways that one who celebrated her 95th birthday – said birthday was celebrated in.a.castle. yeah, that’s right. holland has castles. who knew? and more importantly, how awesome is it to go to a party and then sleep in a castle. oh, and then go to another castle the next day for my cousin’s wedding reception. yup. two castles. two days. two parties. two different parts of holland. i barely survived the jetlag. i tell you this not to brag – because do people really get jealous of jacks randomly sleeping in castles? i think not. but rather to share my incredulity with you. dutch castles. things that make you go hmmm). anyhoo – trip was fun – family heavy which was just what i wanted. i got to celebrate sinterklaas day there which is sorta like christmas here – presents for kids, etc. – while christmas – the 25th – is celebrated more like a religious holiday without gifts. if you are looking for a trippy holiday though – sinterklaas day is one to check out – particularly the part about zwarte (translated as black) pete (or piet in dutch). can anyone say unselfconscious blackface? yowza. but in other, only tangentially related news, it seems that i am in blogging arrears and dr. beth (whose blog currently has snow! yay!) has sent me another meme so i must get to it because it makes me feel important.

basically i have to do a bunch of fancy blog-related things that i am too lazy to figure out at the moment and i am distracted by t-bone filling up my eggnog bath (not really) so i will just write 6 random things about myself and ask you, dear readers to do the same in the comments. here goes:

  1. my nickname when i was six was popcorn head. i might have already talked about this and the way my mother cut and permed my hair like a geriatric’s, but who doesn’t want to revisit that pain over and over again? i know i do.
  2. i currently desperately want to write a short story. i thought i wanted to write a novel but now that just seems too ambitious what with the dissertation and all.
  3. i am currently sporting my natural haircolour which i haven’t seen since roughly 1995.
  4. i was born with three holes in my heart which were repaired by way of open-heart surgery when i was three. it didn’t strike me that i had actual holes in my heart until i was about 9 years old and my friend (susanne, if you read this blog, just know that i am outing out) asked me if i had any trouble with my feelings – you know, like love, because the carebears were advising us at that time in the late 1980s that without our hearts we were all just…i dunno mired in the land without feelings. fucking profound susie q. i must say.
  5. i got married when i was 25. i know! doesn’t that seem young? well i guess it does to me now that i am almost thirty. jeesh. such a little lamb back then before t-bone corrupted me with his love and proposals of marriage and such. aaaah.
  6. i love holland more than i think i would love the land of oz. however, there is no way of ever knowing that and i am aware of that.

yay! this is fun! i want to go on forever but i am afraid of how random this could get. for example i might spill about how i was a punk rocker for like my entire youth for halloween (badly approximating madonna in her like a virgin video (gawd – i STILL love that song!), or how i used to make boys i liked get down on their hands and knees so i could step on their backs getting onto the monkey bars at school (like, what was that about? can someone say control issues?). or how i love eating in random hole-in-the-wall chinese restaurants that smell suspiciously and taste deliciously. or how i love christmas far too much for someone approaching thirty. alright. i’m stopping. but i want to hear some random shit for all ya’ll and i will also be accepting ideas  for plots for my possible short story. perhaps i will blog some of it. or perhaps it will remain the untold story of a popcorn headed girl, dressed skankily like madonna, eating chinese food in the land without feelings.

um. whatevs.

well. it was my blogiversary. two days ago. but i was sick. like snotty-faced head cold sick. and i even attempted to write a post in that state, but upon perusing it again, realized it makes no sense. it’s all tylenol cold meets shots of whiskey. thus, you get the two-days-late celebration of a year of wasting spending my time writing on this blog. there have been good times. bad blogger times. and all around inappropriate times (that post’s picture, much to my chagrin, is the most clicked on picture on my blog. i don’t know what that means, but it can’t be good). i think i have done a pretty bang up job as a bad blogger and a recovering technophobe. but just to convince you, dear sweet readers who hide from me, i will list some of my accomplishments over this past bloggyrific year as a way of saying screw you, i am gonna keep blogging and nobody can stop me (unless i actually get a job and they force me to). a year in the life of jacks-as-blogger or jackablogger:

  1. i have gone from bitching about starting my dissertation to being close to done a complete first draft. this has resulted in a search for gainful employment. when i began this blog, i hoped it would help motivate me and be an outlet and procrastination place. it has paid off in spades, my friends. spades. (i have no idea what that means).
  2. i taught myself how to use blogger and then moved over to where dr. beth, the alpha-bloggess told me all the cool kids were, that is, wordpress. THEN i taught myself how to use wordpress. it is like i am a computer genius or something. the really, really cool kids pay for their own domain but i am okay being a second-rung cool kid because i have never been one to kowtow to the whims and trends of others. or maybe i am. i have no idea.
  3. every time i think i will never be as pumped about another research project, i discover something like fat and fall deliciously, hopelessly in love with the idea of talking to people about it and turning it into something thinky (and bloggy) .
  4. i went to my first american conference (and blogged about it!) and it made me fall deeper in love with fat studies.
  5. i spoke at a blogging conference about my research.
  6. as a bona fide member of the wordpress community i have so far appeared in the “possibly related posts” section of three different blogs. they are: fat feminism: musings of a rubens woman – which, i might add, actually makes sense and looks like a cool blog; some kid’s blog who wrote a post about incest – okay, this was a little bit of a stretch but from what i saw, he was trying to be witty. i hope; and this blog, which i think is about nordic skiing. the link here – say with me folks – is a blog post about being a un-sexy pole dancer. get it? ski poles, stripper poles…anyhoo. it appears that “possibly related should be highlighted and bolded. i fear that the nordic ski people might not be getting the kind of pole-action they want (however, i posted the ic of when i went pole-dancing just to add to the confusion. hehe. take that wordpress!).
  7. i cat blogged once! sorry shells. and everybody.
  8. this list has to be ten. so here is number eight.
  9. blogging has inspired not only my future research project (about blogging and fat! wheee!) but it has also inspired that creative writing spirit that i lost roughly after i got my license. before that i would crank tori amos or classic rock (i can’t even stand the doors anymore because of how much i listened to them in my angsty youth. borf) and write really.bad.poetry while my father worried for the state of my mental health. it’s good to be back to the good ole days.
  10. basically, i kept it up for a year. and i am friggin’ proud of myself. *big shit-eating grin*

so during this little yay me blogiversary partay, i realized i don’t have a list of my categories. and i still don’t know how to tag things. um, dr. beth? help me…

oh yeah – and how could i forget: HAPPY H-WEEN kids! costume pics to come! (and tell me what you are going to be/were. now. NOW!).

so dr. beth – after a night of vegetarian cuisine and  my constant questions about what a ping is and how i can find out how important i am to the blogosphere – has helped me out with a post idea – that is a five things meme. basically i have to thrill you by answering questions with five answers. so here goes nothin’ kids.

FIVE things i was doing 10 years ago:

  1. deciding that instead of dropping out of university and becoming a chef (in which case i would now be working for dreamy gordon ramsey – i don’t usually dig men with light hair but comeon) or a florist, i would get my phd and become a professor (can somebody say existential crisis?)
  2. putting on roughly thirty pounds instead of the average “freshman fifteen” (good times)
  3. getting up the courage to end an almost-five-year-long relationship to live a life that somehow approximated sex and the city (the former happened, the latter, not so much)
  4. falling deeply and intensely in love with critical thought (feminist, anthropological, and sociological. seriously. i had a boner for theory)
  5. discovering exercise. and tanning. later, i will refer to this part of my life as the “surfer chick stage.” i neither surfed nor ever considered myself a chick, but upon being misrecognized at christmas by a younger cousin who i heard whisper to her mother “jacks sure looks different than before” i got a sense that something was awry. btw, it was my fake tan and platinum hair. yowza)

FIVE things on my to-do list today

  1. buy the remaining components of my h-ween costume (and no, you may not know what i am going to be so there. be patient. i will post pics)
  2. eat stuff. a special moment of ingestion will take place tonight when i go out with friends who are taking their new baby on the town for the first time. i let you know how that goes
  3. read more of the fat anthology i am currently obsessed with. it is called fat: the anthropology of an obsession. i am sure i don’t have to remind you how obsessed with fat i am right now
  4. try to send five minutes with t-bone. we’ve been busy so ships passing in the night or somethin’ like that
  5. decide about going to a concert. the band sounds a little like blue rodeo. and no. that isn’t good

(and i am aware that there is nothing regarding my dissertation on that list. it’s saturday. gimmie a break)

FIVE snacks i like

  1. poutine
  2. french fries
  3. potato chips
  4. beer (if none of the above is available)
  5. guacamole (i could seriously drink that shit. seriously)

FIVE things i would do if i had a million dollars

  1. make the barenaked ladies song “if i had a million dollars” the soundtrack of my life. it would come on when i walked into a room
  2. buy a forest green volvo circa 1979
  3. travel to figi
  4. maybe move somewhere warm
  5. buy a house in the country and have too many animals

FIVE places i’ve lived in

  1. small town ontario (pop. 4200)
  2. ottawa, our nation’s capital (there are two things ottawa does well: canada day and summer)
  3. toronto
  4. vancouver
  5. that’s it

FIVE jobs i’ve had

  1. interpretive guide/reception at a national historic site (basically i dressed up as a soldier’s wife from 1846 and got called wench a lot despite that being a temporally-inappropriate term for women of the era we were representing. i gave tours and found my peverse love of all things reception-y – including but not limited to the movie the secretary. i know. so wrong to go there)
  2. i worked for a minute for my grandfather in his print shop. i was hoping it would be more secretary-like but it ended up being more print-person like. it sucked. i quit on my second day
  3. i have been a teaching assistant and i am an instructor. i heart teaching but it seems almost like a not-real job cause it only exists in the forms i have done it in academia. and plus, i love it so it doesn’t feel like work (i know that is cheesy but it is true so suck it)
  4. sadly, that is also it. embarrassing, i know. i did the interpretive guide thing for like 6 years – basically it stole my youth and i have been doing number 3 for about the same amount of time. apparently i don’t like to diversify. essentially, i am unemployable outside of academia. pray that i get a job. for reals

I am suppose to tag people here but i don’t have enough friends who blog so instead i am going to write five words i find funny. i believe this ruins the point of a meme, but i never claimed to know what i was doing on the internets.

FIVE words i fine funny

  1. mustache
  2. panties
  3. viscous
  4. scrotum
  5. sycophant (word and deed are highly annoying)

it would be nice if you chose one of these categories and provided your own answers in the comments section i might just love you forever. really i will.

not everyone likes looking for a job but i dig it. it’s kinda like winning something. and being in a contest that you can win, unlike every other contest out there. i mean, i did snag five dollars in that recent lottery that was $43 million so maybe i’m super lucky and CAN win any contest out there. we’ll see.

the part people particularly hate – resume writing – is the part i like the most. i know. how messed up is that? but it is fun. especially when i write resumes for other people. so then, when i make shit up about them, i don’t feel so bad cause i don’t know it’s not true. do i? i often initiate the question game – like the one where you ask questions and then everyone has to answer in an attempt to learn interesting and unknown facts about the people you know. [note: this game works best under these two conditions: 1) there is nothing else to play or you are trapped in a car; and 2) there are copious amounts of alcohol. play at your own risk]. anyhoo – during the question game people often ask what the worst job you have ever had was and this normally results in uproarious laughter because you find out someone you know and love wiped old people’s bums or posed nude for art classes (the latter is less funny and more an opportunity to picture that person naked). alas, i have no good answer for this because i have had so few jobs and even though one required me to wear a dress from the 1840s, it is simply not that funny. nor dramatic. nor tragic.

maybe it is because i have been lucky with the jobs i have had which makes me excited about the process of job-getting or maybe it is my naivetee about all the shit jobs out there. i have this weird idea – that i swears is not ekhart tolle inspired – that you throw shit out there and see what sticks. and what sticks is usually the right thing because it is what is (okay – that last part was tolle – i admit it!). but i mean, as cliche as it sounds/is, where you end up teaches you something , if only about yourself.

i have also been thinking a lot about the misrecognition of self, not only because my most recent dissertation chapter is about it, but because i think many of us misrecognize ourselves as not enough or too much – whatever form that might take. i’m too fat, not smart enough, too critical/negative, not ambitious enough, etc. we can’t see past the past that no longer defines us. has become outside our lived experience but exists within us as a cancer. a plague of doubt. you know what people never hear enough of? praise. and the sentence that they are enough. better, they are perfect just as they are. fine. good. complete.

a job doesn’t give us fulfillment, but it offers a chance to live fully through our doubts and fears. through and beyond the nothingness that is the phrase: “i am not good enough.”

anyhoodle – what was your worst job? tell me. now. cause i want to laugh and possibly picture you naked.

(and forgive me for the help wanted poster. i couldn’t resist!).

so the summer is rapidly passing me by. there were house guests. there were cat emergencies (five hundred dollars and a kitty enema later, we find out bianca was just constipated). there was/is teaching a three-week intensive course that no tenured prof would touch with leprous fingers. such is the life of jacks. and strangely, she has nothing significant to say. that is why she/i? – who talks about themselves in the third person? seriously – will give you one of my random posts that mean nothing and simply waste your precious, precious youth/old age/time spent with love ones who actually give something back. here goes…

  • so i ridiculously love teaching. and not just any teaching but the kind of teaching where you get to forward your own personal and political agenda that is ingeniously hidden in the fancy schmance thing called a syllabus. i routinely go off about something and then announce to my students that i will indeed get off my soapbox only to return to it once the next question is asked. drunk with power you ask? power! i say. let me tell you something about power!…
  • i have recently noticed that everyone in canada now says “thanks so much” instead of a simple thank you. i have two bones to pick about this – first, canadians are infinitely too nice; and second, i coined that phrase and i want proper recognition for it every time anyone uses it as in, “thanks so much, copyrighted 1993 by jacks.” that is not too much to ask, is it?
  • i don’t think i have successfully had a tan since i moved to vancouver four years ago. my pasty skin glows and i feel shame exposing (imposing?) the white brilliance of my legs on the unsuspecting masses. should jacks fake and bake? jacks thinks yes. thank god i don’t own shorts. an for everyone who does own shorts, one question: why?
  • big brother has begun again and i fear i that am not properly addicted to this season. is it because everyone in the house is unlovable? jacks says yes again.
  • i think i might have hermity traits because teaching forces me out of the house everyday, whereas when i am not teaching, i sit alone, all day, writing my dissertation. shockingly, i long for those days of loneliness and desperation for human contact. oh, where have you gone?
  • things that have changed since moving to vancouver (the four year reflection redux remix):
  1. i now look forward to camping instead of thinking it was some kind of punishment for not flossing regularly (there is a connection there – i leave it to you to find it)
  2. i regularly tell my students how privileged they are and i throw around the term elitism in my classes like it is a term of endearment
  3. summer consists of equal parts rain and weather that can’t decide if it wants to simply be hot and humid or to burn the province down
  4. i have morphed into a microbrewed beer fan (also known as a “beer douche”)
  5. too much tofu finds its way into my food. too much i say!
  6. i have recently discovered that i like soy milk and green tea. like, together. in a latte. what is happening to me?
  7. i miss seeing my niece and nephew grow up. i am disembodied aunt jacks over the phone. i fear that they do not know or fully appreciate the fabulousness of aunt jacks. one day dammit. they will.
  8. i love wearing dresses
  9. i am a fan of the out-of-doors
  10. i love living in a place that people visit and that when they visit they don’t mind sleeping on our living room floor on cat hair filled mattress just be in van…and near us, of course

that’s it. jacks out. (but loves and misses her one reader – yup! you! – tremendously).

so now that i have a total of 52 posts or thereabouts, i decided to get myself a shiny new home in the blogosphere. and here it is! i even changed my title cause we all know how i can’t commit to anything. so here i am, once again following in the footsteps of the alpha-bloggess dr. beth and moving on up to wordpress, thereby bringing me into at least the 20th century. as dr. beth pointed out, blogger is sooooo 1990s, and jacks is nothing if not cutting edge.

so in honour of my shiny new blog i am going to stop holding back and do something i have been wanting to do for a while. yup. that’s right. blog about my cats. and i swear to god, if any of you stop reading because i choose occasionally to catblog, well, just know that i think you’re not very nice. yeah. take that. so i told this little ditty at a recent dim sum fest (my new favourite ingestable) and it got some laughs, so here goes.

i have two cats, one is named hobbes, the other bianca. they are brother and sister and the two most beautiful himalayan/siamese cross kitties in. the. whole. world. they have completely opposite personalities and of course this makes them highly complimentary. anyhoo. hobbes is really outgoing. like really. and bianca, well. not so much. so whenever anyone comes over, or really, whenever anyone comes into our place – including us – hobbes runs to them frantically for attention and bianca runs to the bedroom to hide under the bed until she decides that you are not sketchballs. hobbes is essentially an attention whore while bianca takes to heart the cow and the milk analogy.

i give into hobbes a lot. this might be because he is an attention whore like me or because he is really needy. not sure. the point is: what hobbes wants, hobbes gets. that or you have to put up withhim screaming in your face as he kneads your chest with his massive kitty paws. and well, to put it bluntly, hobbes likes his junk scratched. not actually his junk of course. but the general area. so i concede and scratch his belly quite, well, low. this translates into the uniquely hobbesian (hehe) practice of meeting new people, subsequently flopping on them, and then waiting for the junk scratch. needless to say, this takes people off-guard. and maybe a little aback. they begin by asking if it is okay that they scratch his belly (which is a good question because most cats are not into this action). upon receiving the go-ahead, hobbes begins to kick their arms with his back leg in order to get their hands lower. MUCH lower. it is at this point that visitors begin to get uncomfortable, laugh nervously, and ask if what they think he is doing is indeed what he is doing. i say yes and they recoil in a mix of fascination and horror. i clarify and say that he likes it low, but that he does not in fact want anyone to touch it. at least i don’t think he does.

so this is my welcome and inaugural post on my new blog. hopefully, it will, as my cat’s junk-scratching desires do, demonstrate the propriety of the new handle and theme.

so i changed my blog title. don’t judge. i am allowed to be indecisive. at least in the blogosphere. (blogosphere – what does that even mean? don’t think too much about it, says the new media studies student. just. don’t). indecision does not come easy to me. and that’s not something i’m proud of. cause for years i lived in a world (a sphere perhaps?) of black and white. and that’s tough lemmie tell ya. tough.

gynormous life decisions have always come relatively easy to me, e.g., while i faltered for a week during christmas break during my first year of university, desperately wanting to drop out and become either a chef or a florist (much to my parent’s chagrin and resounding “nos”), by the new year i knew i was going to be a phd student one day. and well. here we are. i would like to say it’s the little things that get me and while that may be true, it is really the small to medium decisions that boggle me. such as: where should i eat for dinner instead of making dinner? should i like camping? how many drinks are too many? and, my personal favourite – should i continue to think about the health of my arteries or should i just give in and eat french fries all. the. time.? so far, arteries are winning. but i’m not happy about it.

i made a decision to write a short blog entry – something i can’t seem to accomplish due to insufficient short-range wit and the fact that this blog may or may not be turning me into an even more rampant egomaniacal attention whore (could you talk more about yerself much?). i don’t seem to be sticking to that decision. but maybe that is just it. as long as i have the big life decisions covered i can completely live a life devoid of simple decision-making. some decisions are easy: should i go on a reality t.v. show? no. would i like to? yes. do i like summer? yes. would i like it to be summer all the time. maybe also yes.

i have recently been thinking a lot about having one’s own “take” on everything. which is essentially like having a position – perhaps deciding on an opinion – and then deciding to act upon that decision. my take. your take. everybody has a take. that is what makes people seem so annoying sometimes – your takes don’t add up or they don’t agree with your take. i also think decision-making is about confidence – the confidence to stand behind your take even though everyone else thinks it is spastically uninformed. in my youth – the heady days of “should i be a chef or a florist” – my take was the law. there were no other takes. my take ruled. that was what living in a world of black and white was like. i didn’t see shades of gray. as i get older – and with a recent birthday under my belt – i realize that life is full of shades of gray. if we can cobble together a take, than that’s something. enough perhaps. existing in academia teaches me this anew every. single. day. and this is not a bad thing. it is perhaps instead an altered mode of being.

so i made a decision to change the name of my blog. and i may or may not stick with it.

so there.

k – i’m not good at taking pictures. actually, i’m really, really bad. so as desperately as i want a flickr site, i don’t have one because a) i take horrible pictures that no one wants to look at, and b) our camera is broken and i don’t know how to use it anyway. anyhoo – i was over at sugar sweet, one of my new favourite blogs, and she did this cool flickr meme thingy that i am going to steal because it looked super fun. also, this being the eve of my day of birth, it seems like a fun way to take weird stock of your life, and in pictures no less, which is fun (and elusive to me, a picture-taking spaz). so theses are the rules of the flickr meme:

1. go to
2. type in your answer to the question in the “search” box
3. use only the first page
4. copy the html and paste for the answer

here goes! (please note: i did not answer questions that appear on sugar sweet’s that i thought were dumb, e.g., my favourite disney princess). i may or may not have added others. i can do whatever i want cause i am the birthday girl).

1. what is your first name?

2. what is your favourite food?

3. what is your favourite colour?

4. who is your celebrity crush?

5. what is your favourite sunday activity

6. favourite drink? (for me, a tie)


7. dream vacation?

8. favourite dessert?

9. what do you want to be when you grow up?

10. what do you dream about?

okay – that was stupid fun. do it! i feel inspired to not only take better pictures but also to regularly take stock of the beauty that my life holds. and is.

(also, i thought i was cheating cause i thought you had to use the first picture and i was choosing from the whole of the first page. my post-catholic schoolgirl guilt was wasted cause that is part of the rules – you can choose any from the first page. jeesh.)

i thought it might be time for another rousing rendition of my mediocrity at crafting and maintaining this beautiful blog. since this is my like, fortieth-ish post, i am now an expert on why my blog pales in comparison to those that people read religiously and comment on. some of this list may seem familiar while other aspects of suckage will be entirely new. as always, comments for improvement are welcomed but will resultantly make you unlikeable. just so you know. enjoy.

1. this blog continues to be about nothing. i have recently refurbished my “about me” and “interests” sections. it made me feel better despite the fact that you didn’t notice. don’t pretend you did.

2. because this blog is about nothing, i will never be paid consultancy fees for anything. shitbags of hell.

3. t-bone has recently pointed out that i not only frequently have spelling errors, but that i always do. thanks for that tidbit.

4. i may or may not have mis-named my blog. i mean seriously, even i skip over blogs with titles like hate in them because i am trying to spare myself the entitled vitriol of others. what was i thinking? i hated my other blog. however, i am desperately in love with this one.

5. do people even blog in the summer? i mean, is this blog going to contribute to my pastiness? i really need a tan – like even a spray-on one. seriously.

6. i am even starting to think the minutiae of my life is interesting. is this a blog-induced state equivalent to navel-gazing in the social sciences (mainly anthropology – i mean, i’m not judging, i’m just saying…)?

7. i think all lists must contain 10 items.

8. all i want to blog about is big brother – till death do us part. hey – you know how i feel about being judged about my reality television choices. so stop it. now.

9. i have ceased and desisted sharing my blog. that can’t be good. and if i do i always tell people that they won’t want to read it. how is that for a sales pitch?

10. i can’t seem to talk about anything related to my dissertation which is both a positive and a negative thing. i mean, this blog is about procrastination, right? suggested to me by the one and only dr. beth, who has in fact completed a dissertation, hence the dr. appellation. almost dr. jacks can’t even talk about online dating much less have a blog about it. poor almost dr. jacks. is this what i should rename my blog? methinks i am on to something.

okay, so what has this installment of bad bloggerness taught all of us? not much. but it does suggest that i maybe should change the name of my blog and perhaps share it will others with the same kind of resounding endorsement i give to referrals to my hairdresser or for people to watch flight of the conchords. seriously. watch it. its friggin’ awesome folks.

vote now if you think i should change my blog title to “almost dr. jacks changes the world” or some other fabulous suggestion you wonderful people have.

11. i change my blog so often, people can’t even find it, let alone figure out what it is about (just a preview of bag blogger installment #6).